"Healthy" Southern Fried Catfish & Tarter Sauce, Oven Fries

Last week Greg and I took a little time off for some R & R that turned out to mean "Restlessness & Ruminating" for me, rather than "Rest & Recreation." Got the flu, and then took on a bundle of worries about a family member I love who is going through a very rough patch. Though I was grateful for a soft hotel bed in which to recover from the flu, and in which to toss and turn over my loved one's troubles, I was never so glad to be back in my own home as I was last night. When other things are unsettled, there is no place like home to deliver the comfort of sameness and familiarity. I felt better the minute we stepped into our Home Sweet Home.

Tonight, continuing with all things comforting, I was in the mood for a favorite southern comfort meal: cornmeal coated fried catfish, fries and coleslaw.Thankfully, I upsized the health of this traditional meal without sacrificing any of the taste. In fact, I have to say I think this was the best catfish dinner I've ever had anywhere, and it came from my own kitchen in minutes. So here's how I did it just in case the mood for a catfish dinner should strike you, too.

First of all, I drove through KFC and picked up their coleslaw, because I could live to be 100 and not make coleslaw as good as theirs, so I bow to the Colonel in this side dish category.

Secondly, a trip to Whole Foods, yielded me two large, gorgeous fresh boneless catfish fillets for about $10.00 (1/2 lb per person). I have found that our Whole Foods has the freshest, non-fishy-est tasting fish around and is more than worth the extra cost. I also grabbed a couple of organic russet potatoes and headed home to cook.

First I heated the oven to 425, then scrubbed and cut the potatoes, skin on, into steak fry sized pieces. Squiggled olive oil on a baking sheet and then sprinkled the oil with Coarse Sea Salt, rolling the pieces of potato in this mixture then popping the whole thing into the oven while I turned my attention to the catfish.

In a large skillet I heated about 1/4 c. coconut oil. I've come to love this healthy oil for its wonderful light flavor when frying foods. Then I lightly rinsed the fillets in water, patting off excess water. In a shallow bowl I put about 1 c. of organic corn meal, 2 t. citrus seasoning and 1 t. paprika. (You can also use Cajun seasoning or whatever suits you!) Then I dipped the fillets in the cornmeal and "fried" them in the small amount of coconut oil until they were golden and crispy on the outside, tender and flaky on the inside. Let them drain on paper towels.

Now is a good time to check fries and turn them so the other side gets brown.

Here's a delicious and healthier version of tarter sauce to serve with the catfish:

3 T. light mayo
2 T. light Ranch dressing
2 T. Greek yogurt
1 t. dried dill or 1 T. fresh dill minced
1 T. fresh squeezed lemon juice
1 1/2 T. pickle relish
1 T. minced capers
1 T minced onion if you like (Greg doesn't so I left out!)

Fries should be ready about now.

Serve catfish with a wedge of lemon and tarter sauce alongside oven fries with a little catsup (I like a few shakes of Tabasco on the catsup) and some coleslaw from KFC. An alternative to coleslaw might be a fresh cucumber and tomato salad, lightly marinated with a little rice wine vinegar and ice water (equal amounts),then salt and sugar to taste.

Easy Peach Cobbler

My mother used to make this delicious fruit cobbler on cold nights, and I am sure her mother also made it before her. It's a classic old recipe and can be made with pantry ingredients in a jiffy. It's also a very inexpensive way to serve a bunch. I use more peaches than the recipe usually calls for, otherwise it seems to be mostly cobbler and not enough fruit! You can also substitute canned sliced pears.


In a 9 by 13 pan, plop 1 stick (1/2 c.) of butter. Place in oven and heat to 350, removing pan w/ butter as soon as it is melted. Set aside.

In a bowl, mix by hand:
1 c. flour
1 c. sugar
1 c. milk
1 1/2 t. baking powder
1/4 t. salt


Squiggle batter over melted butter.

Using two big cans of sliced peaches (29 -32 oz. each can) ladle fruit on top of batter, then pour rest of peach juice on top of fruit.

Sprinkle all this with about 3 T. sugar and 2 t. cinnamon (Optional: chopped pecans are also a nice addition)

Bake for about 30 - 40 minutes or until top of cobbler is golden brown. It will rise and puff up between and on top of peaches.

Serve in bowls, warm, with vanilla or butter pecan ice cream.

Makes 8 -10 servings.

Confused? Overwhelmed? Simply Take the Next Right Step

(Walking our niece Whitney back home to our hotel through the confusing streets of downtown Chicago at dusk,carrying her shopping bags, holding her hand. She didn't have a care in the world because her beloved Uncle Greg was leading her, one step at time and she knew that he knew the way.)


Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Charlie Shedd told the story of his young daughter Karen, who became overwhelmed by the multiple pieces involved in creating a model of the human brain for a science project. Her friend Ben was helping her but still, she could not see the forest for the trees of "brain parts." One evening Karen came home, excited about a new plan she and Ben had worked out. "Ben says I should bring the whole business over to his house. Instead of me taking him the parts, he wants the whole deal. then he'll give me the parts in their right order."

What a concept to apply to our tangled lives. Give God the whole deal (whatever your current "overwhelm" might be) and then let Him show us which thing to do deal with and how to do it, one focused step at a time. Only He knows where we ultimately want to be, and revealing too much at once only clogs our all-too-human brains.

Stormie Omartian wrote a book with the title, Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On and the title alone may be worth the price of the book. It's a powerful way to deal with overwhelm when there are too many tasks to be done, too many bills to pay, too many relationships in confusing disarray. At this juncture I've found it helps to simply stop, drop and roll on over to God's presence and say, "Okay, I'm going to give you the whole business and let you tell me which part you want me to tend to today. Please give me just enough light for the step I'm on."

Jesus warned us not to worry about tomorrow because "each day has enough trouble of its own." We were not created to borrow tomorrow's worries. Like manna, God only gives us a daily portion of strength to deal with the next 24 hours. Overthinking about tomorrow,leaves us paralyzed for the only task we are equipped to handle and lands us in a place that fries our brains.

In the bestselling book, Eat, Pray, Love, the author Elizabeth Gilbert recalls a time when she could not sleep because she was so desperately confused, living in an unhappy marriage, and overwhelmed as to what to do about the mess she was in. She finally had nowhere to go but to God. She asked Him what to do. The answer was very clear. "Go back to bed." It was the first of many small steps to getting better, but it was an important first. She needed the sleep to give her brain the rest and strength for the turmoil ahead.

If you have no idea where to begin or start, with anything that needs fixing in your life, you might begin by praying, "I trust You to show me the next right step." Then do that, and when it is done, ask for your next step. It is amazing how fast this will clear mental fog and bring peace to anxious hearts.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Pet. 5:7

Quick n' Hearty Feel Better Chicken Soup

Greg's fighting a cold this New Year's Day, and nothing tastes better, or is better for you, than a steaming bowl of chicken soup when you're under the weather. I invented this one on a night when I was in a hurry, and Greg says it is the "best chicken soup I ever tasted." Bingo! Quick, easy and good! He liked it so well, I doubled it & made it for our New Year's Eve party. Adjust vegies to your liking or to whatever you have on hand. It's creamier and meatier than the average chicken soup, so all it really needs is perhaps a cornbread muffin, maybe a few slices of apple, and dinner is done.

Into pot put:

A quart of chicken broth (I like the boxed organic brands)
1 can no fat cream of chicken soup, condensed
1/3 frozen peas
1 or 2 nuked carrots, cooled and diced (I put them, whole and peeled, in a steam proof zip lock bag and zap them about 3 minutes. Carefully drop on cutting board and dice when cool enough to handle.)
1/2 leftover baked potato, chopped up (or nuke one!)
1/4 c. corn
2 cloves fresh garlic, pressed
2 T. Thai chili sauce
Angel hair pasta, broken into 1 inch pieces -- about 1/2 cup (dry) or so (More if you really like noodles)

All the breast meat from a deli roasted chicken, diced (I love the big juicy ones at Sam's Club)... if you want dark meat as well, be my guest, and bone that, too!
pinch oregano and terragon

Simmer all until pasta is tender... (about 10 minutes), taste and season with salt, if needed, and plenty of pepper. You can thin it a bit with water or milk if it seems too thick to you, but it turned out just right for us!
I like a bit of diced green onion tips or fresh parsley on top of mine.

Our Newest Book Release: This is Your Brain in Love

For the last year Dr. Henslin and I have been writing about the world's greatest and most complicated topic: Love. Then we combined that with the world's second most complicated topic: The Brain . I'm pleased to announce that This is Your Brain in Love is now available on Amazon now, and in bookstores soon. (Click on Image of book to the right and it will take you to the Amazon page.)

This is Your Brain in Love shares a fresh way of looking at relationships; one that greatly upsizes the success of marital therapy by taking individual brain health into consideration as a major factor in being happily wed.

Dr. Henslin discusses the 5 Lover Types (when out of balance) and how to:

1) bring your best, healthiest happiest brain to your relationship and
2) support your spouse's efforts to heal/work around their own brain issues.

5 Lover Types in a nutshell are:

Scattered Lover(ADD,creative-ditzy, messy)
Blue Mood Lover(From Numb to Deeply Depressed)
Over-Focused Lover(Get stuck on grievance like a dog with a bone)
Anxious Lover
(Easily triggered to fear and nervousness)
Agitated Lover
(Prone to anger or irritation)

Here's a sneak peek at Table of Contents as well:


Chapter 1: This Is Your Brain in Love---Or Is It on Drugs?
Chapter 2: Sexuality and Spirituality: Divine Balm for Your Soul and Brain
Chapter 3: Bring Your Best Brain to the Marriage!
Chapter 4: The Scattered Lover (Prefrontal Cortex)
Chapter 5: The Overfocused Lover (Cingulate Gyrus)
Chapter 6: The Blue Mood Lover (Deep Limbic System)
Chapter 7: The Agitated Lover (Temporal Lobes)
Chapter 8: The Anxious Lover (Basal Ganglia)
Chapter 9: The Ancient Secret to Lasting Love

Appendix A: The Joy Diet
Appendix B: SPECT Scans
Appendix C: New Hope: Women and Hormones
Appendix D: New Hope: Men and Sexual Addiction
Okay, that's a little appetizer.

This is Your Brain on Joy is still available with 100 reviews on Amazon (almost all 4 & 5 star) and will remains a great "first primer" for people who are curious about how the brain can be tweaked to experience the joy we were created to know.

My Christmas Wish: To "Rise Above"

(Greg and I enjoying Christmas at Rockefeller Plaza last week in New York City!)

Since the holidays came upon us, my poor lonely blog has been neglected. Truth be told, we've had so much company, grand-toddlers & activity that I've precious little time for a deep thought. Last week I enjoyed Christmas in New York City with Greg: a week full of adventure and discovery, walking and walking, which seemed to add balance to my life which is often, too often, lived in the thoughts in my head.


But this morning, I've finally had the chance to be still and listen to what my heart is learning and saying. The term "rise above" has taken my fancy of late. I think it started with, of all things, an episode of Grey's Anatomy. One of the main characters, an African American surgeon and strong mother figure on the show, is called upon to perform surgery on a hate-filled racist who has a swastika tattooed on his chest.


Before she touches knife to his skin, she pauses, prays, and asks God to help her "rise above." In other words, she asked for supernatural strength to use her gifts to heal rather than kill or wound or mar, even though the unconscious man she's operating on would have loved to have seen her dead simply for the color of her skin. "Rising above" is a level of living I am aspiring to, rather than the less thoughtful, less prayerful habit of reacting either in retribution or ruminating. When we choose to "rise" instead of "react" we are, after all, a little closer to heaven.


I've noticed, also, that the more emotionally balanced, secure in love, and busy being happy and helpful that I am, there's an improvement in my general generosity of heart and ability to extend grace or move on from a slight. In the movie Last Chance Harvey, the father, Dustin Hoffman is in a bad emotional place. He's made mistakes he's not yet dealt with, particularly as a father, and so his hurt is compounded when his daughter tells him that she's asked her stepfather (who has been there for her through the years), to walk her down the aisle. He slinks away as soon as he can from the painful situation and stumbles upon a straight-talking woman who befriends him and takes him just as he is.


Their like turns to love in a short time (as happens in the movies), and she accompanies him to his daughter's wedding reception. Buoyed by renewed hope and love in a newly blossoming relationship, Dustin is able to "rise above" his hurt, and to deliver a graceful, loving and grateful toast to his daughter, new son in law and even to the stepfather. Feeling joyful , along with realizing we are loved and accepted, is like helium to the heart; allowing us to "rise above" wounding people or painful circumstances with greater ease.


You see it in the classic Christmas Carol where somehow, Bob Crachit, a man poor in material things but rich in grace, rises above Scrooge's harsh and stingy ways. Bob, as it turns out, is what some would call "The Christ Figure" in this story. The person who sees the best in the rest, because he understands the "story behind the man he became" the way God knows the stories behind who we are and the sometimes shameful ways we behave. And loves us, still.


But most of all we see it in the story of God coming down to dwell among humanity, and then rising above our selfishness and blindsightedness to show us how to be more than we thought we could ever be. To show us how loved we are, what worth we have to the Father, and with that joy firmly inside we can give also give "Joy to the World." Jesus came to show us how to, in Don Miller's words, "live a better story" on earth. One where generosity of heart, gladness of soul, and forgiveness as a way of life. In short, he showed us how to rise above.


That's what I want for Christmas this year: less ruminating, less resentment, less reactivity... and many more experiences of Rising Above.

"Sometimes a light surprises a Christian when he sings;

it is the Lord who rises with healing in his wings."

(From an old hymn...)

Guest Blogger: Life Coach, Author, Reformed Perfectionist: Joan Webb!

I love all my friends, but it is amazing how many of them -- who I could happily spend hours of conversation with -- are either writers, therapists or life coaches. Inevitably all three come with deeply human, relatable stories. Also, most tend to be excellent listeners, as eager to share, as they are curious to listen and learn something new from you. In short, delightful company.

One such person in my life is Joan Webb. When I first met the vivacious Joan, and listened as she openly and honestly shared her struggles to stop doing it all, and do it perfectly, I was all ears. Then she shared some of her written thoughts and stories -- about how she put a stop to overcaring, overfixing, overworking and well, over-everythinging. I found that not only could I not put her manuscript down, but that the more I read, the more relaxed and free I felt.

Today it is my pleasure to be a "whistle stop" on Joan's blog tour for her newest devotional book for any woman who struggles with trying to do it all perfectly, and falling short every day. (Or every hour!) The book is called It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life: Devotional Readings for Women Who Strive Too Hard to Make it Just Right (Regal, 2009). Below is a sample devotion. It sure spoke to my over-striving heart this morning, and I hope it also soothes yours.

Uncomplicated Delight

God is more powerful than man is. -Ecclesiastes 6:10, NCV

I sat in the auditorium next to the guests I’d invited to join me for this special event. While engrossed in the beautiful music, it dawned on me: Joan, you’re enjoying this concert for the sheer pleasure of it, without being preoccupied with your guests' thoughts, feelings or reactions. I smiled then and I’m smiling now as I remember.

For years an overzealous sense of responsibility overshadowed my personal enjoyment. When I invited another person to attend a church service, concert or even a luncheon, I felt duty-bound to see that she enjoyed the time and gained new insight. Now I realize that I’m not responsible for someone else’s perceptions, attitudes or knowledge.

Through my years of life coaching and speaking, I’ve noticed an epidemic of over-helping. Those of us who want to join God in his work sometimes live by a false premise that we must fix what’s broken, heal what hurts, and right what’s wrong (in our opinion.) This over-active sense of responsibility can lead us to believe we’re more powerful than we really are. It’s exhausting.

God is the Almighty One, and he wants to release us from this unnecessary responsibility. He is the one in charge of the world, not us. When we give him our shoulds, musts, and ough- tos, we begin to live in genuine freedom. What uncomplicated delight!

Lord, I'm not responsible for anyone else's life fulfillment.

Only my own.

Making It Personal: Jot down an unreasonable I should or I must that has worn you out and threatened to keep you from experiencing your own satisfaction or pleasure.

If you'd like to join Joan's blog train tour and receive more samples of Joan's devos this month, the next stop will be at http://www.skyesofblue.blogspot.com/ tomorrow! Or check out all the stops at http://www.joancwebbblog.com/imperfect-blog-tour/.

Here's to a day of letting go and relaxing into our wonderful, imperfect lives!