Creamy Yellow Pepper Soup

This is my favorite soup ever! I first tasted it at the home of friend, Maxine Bland, in Florida. I adjusted it a bit to my taste and even my husband who doesn't like peppers loves this. A meal with cheesy garlic bread and sliced apples.

4 Roasted & Peeled & Chopped or Sauteed/Chopped Yellow Peppers (you can also toss in a red or orange pepper, the color will just be a bit deeper)

1 cooked (baked, boiled or nuked) sweet potato, peeled and rough-chopped

3 c. broth (vegie or chicken or combo)

1/2 onion

1 clove garlic

1 T. brown sugar

1/4 t. fresh grated nutmeg

Salt and Pepper to taste

1/4 c. cream

Into a blender, toss all the ingredients except salt & pepper, and cream. Blend until as smooth as you can get it and cook over medium, stirring, about 10 to 15 minutes until any raw onion and garlic taste is gone, and it is heated through. Add salt, pepper to taste and last of all, heavy cream. (You can use almond milk or half-and-half... but I must say, it is the real cream that takes this soup from good to divine.)

The Pocket Guide to Narcissists

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you can feel as though your head is in a blender. Here are some narcissistic traits to help you get clarity and detachment. Print these out and keep them near you if you must deal with an NPD (someone with narcissistic personality disorder) in your life. They can be charming, articulate, convincing... but you MUST watch their behavior and their choices to find the truth.


Their Image is the most important thing. They do not have a true sense of self, only the self that appears when "on stage," receiving new and fresh applause or “narcissistic fixes.” These hits of praise, from increasingly new sources are the food that keeps a narcissist alive.

They lack true empathy. However, they can mimic it when it serves their purposes for a period of time. The smarter they are the better they are at mimicking, however, they will drop the act when they are finished using the person or situation for their purposes.

They often appear as tough-minded or unemotional. They seldom show congruency in their facial expressions and words. They may be saying, “I’m so sorry for what you are going through…” but their body language doesn’t line up. No tears in eyes, no touching, no emotive natural expression of empathy. Their delivery can be oddly detached ….

They value people they perceive as tough-minded winners, successful, detached, or attractive and spend lots of time seeking their approval. They especially value emotionless achievers because it provides a challenge for them. If they can get a self-promoting hard ass to like them or think they are talented or attractive…they hope it will validate their own fragile sense of worth.

NPDs eventually show contempt for people who actually love and show authentic empathy for them. Their unconscious internal dialogue goes something like this, “If you love and accept me and treat me well, you obviously don’t know who I really am. I now despise your lack of true insight.” However, if you do find out who they are and call them on it, they are full of rage and fear for having been “found out” and move on. You cannot win with a narcissist. Love them and they will despise and feel contempt for you. Reveal who they are, and they will retaliate or move on to fresh new sources of narcissistic fixes. They hate it when their “image” is uncovered.

Intimacy is impossible. They only mimic it for a short period of time until they “catch” you as a lover, spouse or friend… then you are either ignored or they feel contempt toward you as they begin seeking new sources and fixes.

They spend large amounts of time fantasizing about their attractiveness, power and success. They construct their world to feed these fantasies

They are always right and fail to recognize how their actions, words and behaviors impact others.

They have trouble keeping close long term healthy relationships.

They are often skilled at communication and very articulate and sound logical…. But when you step away from their conversation you realize that they are not following logic. You must “follow what they DO” and no “what they SAY” or you’ll feel lost in their alligator roll. Your head will feel as though it has been put in a blender.

Narcissists vary in tactics but their underlying core needs are the same. (To have their image constantly propped up.) Often they were abused as kids and got emotionally stuck there…. (known as the narcissistic or pyschic wound). They grew numb. Their internal life is always seeking something to help that sense of numbness go away, and constant praise from new sources helps ease this internal state of pain or worse: no-feeling.

Some narcissists are openly grandiose. Others, usually those who are brighter, may actually know how to put on an act of humility… but watch their actions, not their words and you’ll see they are seek constant praise. Every choice they make is about getting new and fresh sources of admiration in their life so they can feel alive. Loyalty to old friends or present faithful people is disdained, unless they use them for their self-promoting/grandizing purposes.

Being a narcissistic is a true tragedy as their need to be always right makes it impossible for them to step back and do self-evaluation or take an internal inventory. It is simply too agonizing for them. They generally avoid therapy or only go once or twice before deciding they are much smarter than the therapist.

Loving a narcissistic is also a tragedy in that it is so painful. You may get windows, or glimpses of their original wound and feel deep empathy for what you see there, and put up with all manner of neglect or abuse hoping to help or save them. The tragedy is that a narcissist is often called "unfixable" because they cannot be helped or saved by even the most loving, consistent, patient and insightful of people. The pattern is too deeply embedded and even the most skilled psychiatrists admit that these are the most hopeless of cases, psychologically speaking. Relationships with NPDs can be managed, but they cannot be healed.

As a Christian, this has been a hard truth to swallow, but I believe some invisible wounds... to the brain and psyche, like losing a limb, will not be restored until heaven. Loving someone who has NPD, keeping realistic expections of their limitations (psychological handicap) and ability to love back normally, is actually freeing. You can love them, but you have to remember they cannot love you back in return, not in all the true meanings of the word "love."

If you recognize an NPD early and can simply avoid and "Run Forrest Run"... do so. If they are someone you are close to, and can't escape from, expect all of the above and guard yourself. Stay smart with your heart. Minimize time with them if you can and most of all, minimize their influence over you.

Then find a normal person who is able to show real caring and true authentic emotion and ask them for a big hug. If you must be in regular contact with a narcissist be sure to get regular support from a therapist or support group trained in dealing with NPD to help you remain clear, at peace, and out of the alligator roll.

And may I just say, with all the empathy and compassion in my heart: I am so sorry for the hurt and bewilderment you've experienced in this relationship. You did not and you do not deserve this treatment. What you do deserve is lots of self-care as you recover from it.

Crunchy Asian Cucumbers

As a prelude to the meal at a fancy Asian restaurant, the waitress brought out a little dish of crunchy marinated cucumbers. To our surprise, they were so tasty -- crunchy, sweet and savory -- that everyone at the table loved them, and we ordered more. Took me some experimenting but I approximated the recipe and I honestly like these even better!

Low cal and nutritious, easy and delicious these make a great little appetizer to bring to any party or covered dish dinner, but I often use them as a super-quick salad to add to meals at home.

Crunchy Asian Cucumbers

6 mini cucumbers (they are much crunchier than the big ones, so good!) unpeeled, sliced 1/4 inch. I found them at Sam's Club this week.

Dressing:

2 T. Lite Soy Sauce

Vinegar 1/4 cup (Rice, white or red wine vinegar all work well)

1 T. olive oil

1 T. sesame oil (essential)

1 - 2 T. sugar (depending on how sweet you like them, I go with 2 T.)

salt and pepper to taste

Toss the cucumbers in the marinade and let them absorb flavors for at least 15 minutes at room temp before serving. Sprinkle 1 T. sesame seed over all.

Vegie Puttanesca Over Spaghetti Squash

Since my daughter became a vegan, I've been able to experiment with vegetables in whole new ways. I love this complex-tasting puttanesca sauce which can be served with or without the addition of ground beef or sausage (I use roasted chick peas in this recipe instead of meat) and served over high protein/fiber pasta (I used spaghetti squash here instead of pasta).

A puttanesca sauce can be adjusted according to your taste, but it needs something a bit salty and briney (capers, olives, anchovies, artichoke hearts, and or pepperocinis) to give it the wonderful "twang." I also like to balance that with something sweet (sundried tomatoes, raisins and/or brown sugar).

This is what I put in my puttenesca, but don't be intimidated by the ingredient list: it is what I had on hand in the fridge. Just pull out whatever you have in your fridge or pantry -- and as long as you have something salty & briney, and something sweet, to balance the basic marinara, you'll probably love the results.

Vegie Puttanesca Over Spaghetti Squash

Into a medium high skillet (I love my cast iron for this) saute 2 cloves minced garlic and 1/2 chopped onion in olive oil. Throw in any mixture of the following that you have on hand, stirring after each addition. (I do highly recommend that you use the chopped artichoke hearts, to me they are the most essential ingredient!)

1/3 - 1/2 c. chopped marinated artichoke heart
1/2 c. to 1 cup, any roasted vegies, diced. (eggplant, squash, peppers are wonderful, as are carrots, Brussel sprouts, butternut squash and broccoli)
1 T. capers
2 T. olives, chopped, any kind
2 T. pesto sauce (if you have it on hand... no worries if not)
2 T. chopped pepperocini peppers
2 T. chopped sun-dried tomatoes (packed in oil, preferably)
1 - 2 T. brown sugar (this will depend on your taste and also how many "sour" ingredients that you put in your sauce that will need balanced by sweet)
1 T. chopped raisins, if you like raisins
1 28 oz can crushed tomatoes (I like the ones with basil and garlic)

Simmer until sauce is thick and chunky, then season with salt, pepper, and Italian spices to taste. Serve with meat or beans over pasta or spaghetti squash

Roasted Garbanzo Beans ( Chick-peas )
Drain, rinse and pat dry a can of garbanzo beans. Pour them evenly on a cookie sheet that has been sprinkled with olive oil, then roll them around. Sprinkle with salt or your favorite spiced salt. Roast at 350 for 10 to 15 minutes or until they are browned and crisped. (Shake them once or twice while baking so they can brown on two sides.)

Spaghetti Squash
Take a spaghetti squash and cut it in half length wise. Scoop out seeds. Put 1/2 cup water in the bottom of a big microwave proof bowl. Put one of the squash halves in the bowl, hole side up. (If it wobbles, trim a thin piece of the squash off the bottom so that it sits more level in the bowl.) Put the other squash half on top of the squash in the bowl. Don't cover it. Just put in microwave for 10 minutes. Test doneness by squeezing the top squash with a pot holder. If it squeezes easily, it is done. Take a fork and scrape "strings" of squash in spaghetti-like fashion.
Lightly salt, then top with sauce and roasted garbanzo beans. (You can also serve this with butter and pepper and nutmeg for a side dish.)

If you aren't vegan, you can sprinkle with grated Parmesan cheese.

Mama Becky's Best Salsa

As a Texan who adores Mexican food, I have been practicing making the "perfect salsa" for many years and I think this is about as close as it comes, at least for my taste. People love it, as it has great depth of flavor (from so many ingredients) and is a nice balance of fresh ingredients alongside the richness of the canned fire roasted tomatoes. It makes more than a quart, and can be frozen in small containers with good results.

There are a lot of ingredients so you may want to take this recipe to grocery store and produce aisle with you. But the results will be worth it!

Mama Becky's Best Salsa

1 28 oz can organic crushed fire roasted tomatoes, divided in half

Into a food processor or blender put:

1/2 red onion

1 fresh tomato, quartered

2 garlic cloves

3 tomatillos or one large green tomato

1 small can green chilies or 2 roasted hatch chilis

handful cilantro (if you like it)

2 large fresh jalepanos, seeded (1 if you prefer milder)

2 chipolte peppers in adobe sauce (1 if you prefer milder)

(You can find these small cans of chipoltes-in-adobe-sauce in most grocery stores now, on the Mexican food aisle)

2 T. white vinegar

2 t. sugar

sea salt to taste

1/2 fresh lime, squeezed

Process until mixtures has the consistency you like for salsa. Then stir in the rest of the crushed tomatoes which will give it a nice chunky texture.

Grab a bag of chips, and enjoy!

Spicy Butter Bean, Kale & Hominy Bowl

Dish of Vegie Deliciousness, with Corn Chip Topping

Mixture simmering in pot.

A week ago, my daughter Rachel and her baby, Jackson, met us for a few days of vacation in Scottsdale. (Sun, daughter, grandbaby, pool, hubby, time to reeeelax. What more could one ask for?)

Rachel is a vegan, and so I threw together this concoction, thinking to myself, "At least it will give her some protein and vegies." And then I tasted it, and loved it! (As did she.) I actually packed it up, along with some tortilla chips to take to the pool for our lunch the next day.

Back home in Denver today, I realized, to my shock and surprise, "I'm craving butter beans, and kale... and hominy." I will eat this for dinner and snack on it through the week, knowing I'm eating something that not only satisfies, but is super nutritious as well.

Spicy Butter Bean, Kale and Hominy Bowl

Saute 1 chopped onion and 2 cloves minced garlic

To this add:

1 can butter beans (NOT lima beans), with juice from can

1 can kidney beans, with juice from can

1/2 large tomato, chopped

1 big bunch kale, ribs trimmed away and chopped in about 1 inch pieces

1 can hominy, drained

1 roasted green chili chopped (or a small can green chilis)

Season with:

1/2 to 1 t. grill or steak seasoning (taste first... as the beans and juice have some saltiness to them) Or salt & pepper to taste

1 T. brown sugar or maple syrup

1 t. smoked paprika (very key as it gives this dish a bacony flavor without the bacon)

Tabasco or buffalo sauce to taste

1 t. cumin

Let simmer until kale is soft and not too chewy, I like most of the liquid absorbed until it is nice and thick. However if you prefer it as a soup, you can simmer for a shorter time or add a can of diced tomatoes with juice.

Serve with crushed corn chips or cornbread.

Honey Lime Ahi Tuna

I bought a beautiful piece of Ahi tuna on sale this week. This recipe is my new Go-To tuna recipe... so good. Sweet and sour, tender and moist.

Ingredients

2 limes, juiced

1/4 cup olive oil

2 tbsp rice vinegar

2 cloves garlic, crushed and minced

1 tablespoon grated fresh ginger (I keep pieces of ginger in the freezer in a baggie and grate in the frozen state as needed.)

2 large Ahi tuna fillets (I cut these into 4 pieces because I like more of the sauce to surround the steaks. I'm "all about the sauce.")

salt and fresh ground black pepper to taste

1/4 cup honey

toasted sesame seeds

In a bowl, whisk together the lime juice, olive oil, rice vinegar, garlic, and ginger. Lay the tuna fillets on a plate, season both sides with salt and fresh ground black pepper to taste, and spoon some of the glaze over the tuna, turn to coat evenly. Let marinate for 15 to 20 minutes. Add the honey to the remaining half of the glaze and mix well.

Heat a grill pan on high, after swiping it with just enough olive to keep the steaks from sticking. Pace tuna fillets on pan. Cook for about 2 minutes, and turn over, brushing the glaze over the cooked side. Grill 2 minutes more for medium-rare to medium (more if you like your fish cooked through.) Pour rest of the glaze over the fish, letting the glaze thicken around the fish just a bit before serving. Remove from heat.

Serve tuna steaks, drizzling a little of the pan glazed sauce over the top. Sprinkle with toasted sesame seeds. I served this fish over orzo, the rice-shaped pasta Alfredo style, with grated Parmesan and a splash of cream and about 1/2 cup peas, with sliced fresh tomatoes.