Friday, February 13, 2009

Master Level Lovers

(Becky's Parents, George & Ruthie Arnold.
Master Level Lovers after 50 years of wedded bliss!)
I'm a bit belated on blogging this week, waylaid by a virus, and not of the computer variety. So glad to be feeling better and blogging again!

Dr. Henslin and I are now working on the sequel to This is Your Brain on Joy. It is slated to be called This is Your Brain in Love. We will talk about "the blessed few" -- Master Level Lovers. Husbands and wives who are part of the small percentage, perhaps just 8% of couples who remain passionately in love (and not just "intact") until they draw their last breath. Here is a little preview from the book-in-progress, a story of Earl's that I found especially touching. Enjoy! And hug your Valentine close!

I was a sophomore in college when I began working as an orderly in a nursing home. I was the only male in Mankato, Minnesota, working in a nursing home. I can’t even remember how I got a job there, but in hindsight I look back on it as a wonderful privilege. Even then, as a young man, I thought it was an incredible experience to work with the elderly and attend to their needs at an age when they could no longer do so many things for themselves.

In the home was one couple I’ll never forget. Henry and Martha. I think they were the only married couple in the nursing home at that time. He was 98 and she was 96. They had been married for over 60 years. And this was both of their second marriages! Can you imagine that?

Henry would wait (from what I learned from the other nurses and the other staff) for the day I would be working. I worked the 3:00 to 11:00 shift, and as the clock inched closer 11:00 o’clock, Henry would buzz the nurses’ station and I would go down to his room.

Henry always wanted the same thing: for me to help him from his bed over to his wife’s bed. I think he was embarrassed to let one of the female nurses or aides help him into his wife’s bed. But since I was a guy, it felt okay for him to ask for my assistance.

Now Martha was mostly blind, but when I’d help him over to her bed, I’d see this wonderful smile come over her face. She could no longer see him, so she was responding to the sound of her husband coming near and crawling into bed beside her. She beamed when she felt his arms enfold her.

They were a part of the “blessed few” – Master Level Lovers.

I thought that scene was the sweetest, most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. After all these years, I still think that.

What are the secrets of Master Level Lovers? I hate to leave you hanging, but ..... that book will be out about this time next year!

Okay, two hints: A natural mingling of loving sexuality with healthy spirituality; and two people who bring their best brains to the table of marriage. For more details, you'll have to wait for the book! It should be out by next Valentine's Day, 2010.

But you can get a head start on a "more perfect union" by taking 100 % responsiblity to bring your best, most joyful brain to any relationship. And how to do that? It's all been written in This is Your Brain on Joy. (Did we mention what a great Valentine Gift the book makes? It's even got a bouquet of flowers on the front. :)

Have a love-on-the-brain kind of week!

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